#!/bin/bash

pick1() {
    gawk  'BEGIN { srand('$RANDOM'); RS=""    }
                 { Recs[rand()] = $0          }
           END   { for ( R in Recs ) {print Recs[R] ; exit}}
        ' 
}

cat << SoMEI_mpOSSIblE_sYMBOl | pick1 | sed 's/--/<br>--/' 

He uses statistics like a drunken man uses a lamp
post, more for support than illumination. 
-- Andrew Lang

I have had my results for a long time: but I do not
yet know how I am to arrive at them. 
-- Carl Friedich Gauss

No great marketing decisions have ever been made on
quantitative data. 
-- John Scully

Do you realize it would take 400 men at least 250
years to make a mistake this big ? 
-- Nicholas Negroponte (staring at the output of a computer).

The weaker the data available upon which to base
one's conclusion, the greater the precision which
should be quoted in order to give the data
authenticity. 
-- Norman R. Augustine

To write it, it took three months; to conceive it
three minutes; to collect the data in it all my
life. 
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

The plural of anecdote is data. 
-- Ben J. Wattenberg

Data is not information, Information is not
knowledge, Knowledge is not understanding,
Understanding is not wisdom. 
-- Cliff Stoll and Gary Schubert

Errors using inadequate data are much less than
those using no data at all. 
-- Charles Babbage

You should call it 'entropy' ...  no one really knows
what entropy really is, so in a debate you will
always have the advantage. 
-- John vin Neumann to Claude Shannon

Do not trust any statistics you did not fake
yourself. 
-- Winston Churchill

It's easy to lie with statistics; it is easier to
lie without them. 
-- Frederick Mosteller

The subjectivist (i.e. Bayesian) states (their)
judgements, whereas the objectivist sweeps them
under the carpet by calling assumptions knowledge,
and (they) basks in the glorious objectivity of
science. 
-- I.J. Good

Figures don't lie, but liars do figure. 
-- Mark Twain

Everybody believes in the exponential law of errors
[i.e., the Normal distribution]: the experimenters,
because they think it can be proved by mathematics;
and the mathematicians, because they believe it has
been established by observation. 
-- E.T. Whittaker
and G. Robinson

... surely, God loves the .06 nearly as much as the
.05. Can there be any doubt that God views the
strength of evidence for or against the null as a
fairly continuous function of the magnitude of p?
-- R.L. Rosnow and R.  Rosenthal

Conducting data analysis is like drinking a fine
wine. It is important to swirl and sniff the wine,
to unpack the complex bouquet and to appreciate the
experience. Gulping the wine doesn’t work. 
-- Daniel B. Wright

I think it is much more interesting to live with
uncertainty than to live with answers that might be
wrong. 
-- Richard Feynman

There are no routine statistical questions, only
questionable statistical routines. 
-- D.R. Cox

If you torture the data enough, nature will always
confess. 
-- Ronald Coase

Strange events permit themselves the luxury of
occurring. 
-- Charlie Chan

A big computer, a complex algorithm and a long time
does not equal science. 
-- Robert Gentleman

Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary a
qualification for efficient citizenship as the
ability to read and write. 
-- H.G. Wells

Statistics are like (swinwear). What they reveal is
suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. 
-- Aaron Levenstein

Statisticians, like artists, have the bad habit of
falling in love with their models. 
-- George Box

87% of statistics are made up on the spot
-- Unknown

The combination of some data and an aching desire
for an answer does not ensure that a reasonable
answer can be extracted from a given body of data
-- John Tukey

An approximate answer to the right problem is worth
a good deal more than an exact answer to an
approximate problem.
-- John Tukey

You know something is wrong when the government
declares opening someone else's mail is a felony but
your internet activity is fair game for data
collecting. 
-- E.A. Bucchianeri

To call in the statistician after the experiment is
done may be no more than asking him to perform a
post-mortem examination: he may be able to say what
the experiment died of. 
-- Ronald Fisher (1938)

... while it's illegal to use Brad Pitt's image to
sell a watch without his permission, Facebook is
free to use your name to sell one to your friends.
-- Eli Pariser,

In God we trust. All others must bring data.
-- W. Edwards Deming,

The nice thing about standards is that there are so
many to choose from.

It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has
data.
-- Sherlock Holmes

For years there has been a theory that millions of
monkeys typing at random on millions of typewriters
would reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. The
Internet has proven this theory to be untrue.

I'm a bit of a freak for evidence-based analysis. I
strongly believe in data.
-- Gus O'Donnell

The goal is to turn data into information, and
information into insight. 
-- Carly Fiorina, former
pres. of Hewlett-Packard.


If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have
are opinions, let’s go with mine. 
-- Jim Barksdale,
former Netscape CEO

I would not give a fig for the simplicity this side
of complexity, but I would give my life for the
simplicity on the other side of complexity. 
-- Oliver Wendell Holme

Some of my best friends are human.

Give me the fruitful error any time, full of seeds,
bursting with its own corrections. You can keep your
sterile truth for yourself. 
-- Vilfredo Pareto

Organization is emergent. From noise, stable and
self-perpetuating systems are self-selecting.
-- me

There are 10 kinds of people in the world- those
that understand binary and those that don't.

When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a
required course.
-- Peter Drucker

Complexity is easy. Simplicity is hard. 
-- Unknown

Motto for a research laboratory: What we work on
today, others will first think of tomorrow.
-- Alan
Perlis

Every program is a part of some other program and
rarely fits. 
-- Alan Perlis

One man's constant is another man's variable. 
-- Alan Perlis

A language that doesn't affect the way you think
about programming, is not worth knowing
-- Alan Perlis

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad
idea which could only have originated in
California.
-- Edsger Dijkstra

Creativity is allowing yourself to make
mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is
ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third,
it is accepted as being self-evident. 
-- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the
writer must develop an approach for the rest of the
time... The wait is simply too long. 
-- Leonard Bernstein (1918 - 1990)

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and
three-fourths theater. 
-- Gail Godwin

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is
absurd. 
-- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder
I work the more I have of it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
(1743 - 1826)

Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
-- W. Edwards Deming

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is
not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one
that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I
found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
-- Isaac Asimov

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. 
-- Lily Tomlin

The software isn't finished until the last user is
dead. 
-- Anonymous

Software is written by humans and therefore has
bugs. 
-- John Jacobs

Serious people have few ideas. People with ideas are
never serious. 
-- Paul Valery

I've got the brains. You've got the looks. Lets make
lots of money. 
-- Pet Shop Boys.

An ancient adage warns, 'Never go to sea with two
chronometers; take one or three'.
-- Frederick Brooks

They have the Internet on computers, now? 
-- Homer Simpson

No amount of experimentation can ever prove me
right; a single experiment can prove me wrong. 
-- Alnert Einstein

For I am a bear of very little brain and long words
bother me. 
-- Winnie the Pooh

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of
junk. 
-- Thomas A. Edison

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any
survival value. 
-- Arthur C. Clark

I you don't risk anything you risk even more.
-- Erica Jong

Seek simplicity, and distrust it. 
-- Alfred North
Whitehead

In mathematics you don't understand things. You just
get used to them. 
-- Johann von Neumann

So you see, imagination needs moodling- long,
inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and
puttering.
-- Brenda Ueland

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one
closed by belief. 
-- Gerry Spence, 

Where facts are few, experts are many. 
-- Donald R. Gannon

My definition of an expert in any field is a person
who knows enough about what's really going to be
scared.
-- P. J. Plauger

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible
voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be
done.
-- Peter Ustinov

All programmers are optimists. 
-- Fred Brooks

The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter
how many women are assigned.
-- Fred Brooks

All of these trivial amounts of code are adding up
fast, though.

The standard definition of AI is that which we don't
understand. 
-- Bill Joy

Inside every large program, there is a small program
trying to get out. 
-- Tony Hoare

The job of formal methods is to elucidate the
assumptions upon which formal correctness depends.
-- Tony Hoare

The hardest to learn was the lest complicated.

To understand God's thoughts we must study
statistics, for these are the measure of his
purpose.
-- Florence Nightingale

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the
future. 
-- Niels Bohr

The best way to predict the future is to invent
it. 
-- Alan Kay

I have made this letter longer because I did not
have time to make it shorter
-- Blaise Pascal (1656)

Models are made by humans for other humans to enable
understanding.  Any model that improves
understanding is a good model.

Fast, cheap, and out of control: a robot invasion of
the solar system. 
-- Rodney Brooks

The trouble isn't what people don't know; it's what
they do know that isn't so. 
-- Will Rogers

Everything should be as simple as possible, but not
simpler. 
-- Albert Einstein

If the journey is not what you expect, do not be
surprised.

All models are wrong, but some are useful. 
-- George Box

Clarke's third law: Any sufficiently advanced
technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Eloquence is logic on fire.

A model is a lie that lets you know the truth.

A Master is someone who started before you did. 
-- Gary Zukav

JNOTWORK: n. A network when it is acting
flaky. Origin (?) IBM. 
-- Hackers Dictionary

We are all fallible, and prone to error; let us then
pardon each other's folly. This is the first
principle of natural right.
-- Voltaire

What is observed is not nature itself, but nature
exposed to our method of questioning. 
-- Werner
Heisenberg

If you cannot- in the long run- tell everyone what
you have been doing, your doing has been worthless.
-- Erwin Schroedinger

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. 
-- Verlaine

Not to know certain things is a great part of
wisdom. 
-- Hugo Gratius

For all is but a woven web of guesses. 
-- Xenophanes

I don't know what the answer is, but I admire the
problem. 
-- Ashley Brilliant

The aim of AI is to make computers act like the ones
in the movies. 
-- Graham Mann

The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
knows why or how, but we are all like that.

The world is moved by jerks. 
-- timm.

Scientific progress goes 'BOINK' ? 
-- Hobbes

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. 
-- Wizard of OZ

I could live in a nutshell and count myself king of
infinite space, if I did not have such strange
dreams.
-- Hamlet

We have many sayings, but no doings.

Legend: a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
-- H.L. Mencken

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you
for a while.

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is
that it is comprehensible. 
-- Albert Einstein

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find
it hitched to everything else in the universe. 
-- John Muir

For never anything can be amiss, when simpleness and
duty tender it. 
-- Midsummer's Night Dream

I'll play with it first and tell you what it is
later. 
-- Miles Davis

One who makes no mistakes, never makes anything.
-- English proverb

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes
that can be made in a very narrow field. 
-- Niels Bohr

The person who says it cannot be done should not
interrupt the person doing it. 
-- Chinese Proverb

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Grace Murray Hopper

The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of
ideas. 
-- Linus Pauling

We made too many wrong mistakes. 
-- Yogi Berra

Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society. 
-- David
Hull

Every act of organisation must be preceded by a
period of dithering.

You can never success- fully determine before hand
which side of the bread to butter.

The solution to the problem changes the problem. 
-- Peer's Law

The ultimate law: all general statements are false.

What really matters is the name you succeed in
imposing on facts, not the facts themselves. 
-- Cohen's Law

People will accept your idea much more readily if
you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. 
-- Lomin's Law

The real world is a special case. 
-- Horngern's Observation

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Certum quod factum (i.e. one is certain of only what
one builds). 
-- Giovannu Battiista Vico 1668-1744

I hear it and I forget it. I see it and I remember
it. I do it and I learn it. 
-- old Chinese proverb

I assumed you were versed, or at least interested,
in... that knowledge that lies outside the empirical
play pen.
-- Amanda

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

Flight by machines heavier than air is unpractical
and insignificant, if not utterly impossible
-- Simon Newcomb, 18 months before Kitty Hawk

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired
of thinking.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look
astonished!

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to
stop helping me.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

Do witches run spell checkers?

Department of Redundancy Department

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they
are.

My software never has bugs.  It just develops random
features.

Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100%
compression

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put
new ones in.

Access denied
-- nah nah na nah nah!

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the
corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology
amusing.

... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

An error?  Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power
cord.


Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed
and automate errors.

Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because
passengers, unable to breathe, would die of
asphyxia. 
-- Dr. Dionsys Lardner (1793-1865)

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue ...

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue ...

640K ought to be enough for anybody. 
-- Bill Gates, 1981

Hit any user to continue.

It is not enough merely to have a good mind; you
must also use it.
-- Rene Descartes

For truth can never be confirm'd enough, though
doubts did ever sleep. 
-- Pericles

Fortune favors the prepared mind.
-- Louis Pasteur

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then
programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of
conversing with inanimate objects.

Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to
write, it should be hard to understand.

A generation which ignores history has no past- and
no future.

Music, comedy and architecture- all just timing
carved out in space.
-- Gerry Connolly

... and I say to them, 'Where the hell were you when
the page was blank?'
-- Harlan Ellison

Any company large enough to have a research lab is
large enough not to listen to it. 
-- Alan Kay

Being intelligent doesn't mean you aren't stupid.
-- Robert Fulghum

Data! Data! Data! I can't make bricks without
clay.
-- Sherlock Holmes

Someone who knows how will always have a job.  They
will work for someone who knows why.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that
one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
-- A. A. Milne

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of
the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short

Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.  Loop, Endless:
n., see Endless Loop.
-- Random Shack Data
Processing Dictionary

Every particle continues in its state of rest or
uniform motion in a straight line except insofar as
it doesn't. 
-- Sir Arthur Eddington

Every technical corrigendum is met by an equally
troublesome new defect report. 
-- Norman Diamond

Getting information off the Internet is like
drinking from a fire hydrant.
-- Mitchell Kapor
(Lotus)

God is real, unless declared integer.
-- Johan Montald,

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain and long words
Bother Me.
-- Winnie-the-Pooh

I must construct my own System, or be enslaved to
another Man's.
-- William Blake

I know I've made some bad decisions lately, but I'm
feeling much better now.
-- Hal, 2001, after killing most of the crew

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost
went back in time.
-- Stephen Wright

I thought back to other headaches from my past and
sneered at their ineffectiveness. 
-- Harry Harrison

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't
have the balls to live in the real world. 
-- Mary
Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden

Nonsense. Space is blue, and birds fly through
it.
-- Heisenberg

Software engineering? That's like military
intelligence, isn't it? 
-- Doug Mohney

Testing can show the presence of bugs, but not their
absence.
-- Dijkstra

TeX: When you pronounce it correctly to your
computer, the terminal may become slightly moist.  
-- D. E.  Knuth.

The impossible we understand right away - the
obvious takes a little longer.

The point of quotations is that one can use
another's words to be insulting. 
-- Amanda Cross

The word is not the thing. The map is not the
territory.  The symbol is not the thing symbolized.
-- S.I.  Hayakawa

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies,
and statistics. 
-- Benjamin Disraeli

They shouldn't get any new nuclear weapons until
they've used the ones they've got. 
-- Murff

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is
overwhelming
-- Wernher von Braun on bureaucracy

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let
them know we know they're there.

I am not sure how clouds get formed.  But the clouds
know how and that is the important thing.

Wind is like the air, only pushier.

Measurements are not to provide numbers but insight.
-- Ingrid Bucher

A man with one watch knows what time it is.  A man
with two watches is never sure.
-- Segal's Law (via Rich Friedrich)

Everything that can be invented has already been
invented.
-- C. Duell, Director US Patent office,
1899

I think there is a world market for about five
computers.
-- Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board of IBM, 1943.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5
tons. 
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the march of science, 1949.

But what... is it good for?
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968,
commenting on the microchip.

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of
the atom.
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize (Physics) 1923

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.
-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

When the map and the terrain differ, trust the
terrain.
-- Swiss Army instructions

Problems cannot be solved by the same level of
thinking that created them.
-- A. Einstein

Bubbles and arrows don't crash.
-- Bertrand Meyer

Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks.
-- Dennis Ritchie on X

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the
established authorities are wrong.
-- Voltaire

Simple things should be simple.  Complex things
should be possible. 
-- Alan Kay

Measure it with micrometer, mark it with chalk, and
cut it with an axe.
-- Ray

The concept is simply staggering.  Pointless, but
staggering.
-- The Doctor (Dr. Who)

Reality is a sandwich that I did not order.
-- Zippy the Pinhead

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what
I'm doing.
-- Werner von Braun

I used to think that the brain was the most
wonderful organ in the body. Then I realized who was
telling me this.
-- Emo Phillips

If you want to do something, just do it.  It is
easier to apologize later than ask for permission up
front.
-- Admiral Grace Hopper

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but
most of the time he will pick himself up and
continue.
-- Winston Churchill

Where were you when the page was empty?
-- Truman Capote

Any smoothly functioning technology will have the
appearance of magic.
-- Clarke

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when
they are open.
-- Sir James Dewar

God does not play dice with the universe.
-- Albert Einstein

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet
Earth.
-- Neil Armstrong

There is never enough time to do it properly, but
always enough time to do it again.

...no one believes an hypothesis except its
originator but everyone believes an experiment
except the experimenter. 
-- W.I.B. Beveridge

'Ah!' said Rabbit, who never let things come to him,
but always went and fetched them.

'Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were
underneath it?' 'Suppose it didn't,' said Pooh after
careful thought.

Those who will be able to conquer software will be
able to conquer the world.
-- Tadahiro Sekimoto,
president, NEC Corp.

No one can forbid us the future. 
-- Inscription on the base of Paris's monument to Leon Gambetta

A man who has the knowledge but lacks the power to
express it is no better off than if he never had the
ideas at all. 
-- Thucydides

This idea isn't even false.
-- Neils Bohr delivering the greatest put-down of the twentieth century.

I was born not knowing and have only have a little
time to change that here and there.
-- Richard Feynman

You can't say A is made of B or vice versa. All mass
is interaction.
-- Richard Feynman

Our friend Dirac, too, has a religion, and its
guiding principle is 'There is no God and Dirac is
His prophet.'
-- Wolfgang Pauli

I always keep two legs going, with one trying to
reach the other.
-- John Archibald Wheeler

In any field find the strangest thing and then
explore it.
-- John Archibald Wheeler

It's wrong to thing that the task of physics is to
find out how nature is.  Physics concerns only what
we can *say* about nature.
-- Neils Bohr

God forbid that we should give out a dream of our
own imagination for a pattern of the world.
-- Francis Bacon

Computers are useless. They can only give you
answers.
-- Pablo Picasso

Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter de
necessitatum.
-- William of Occam (c 1350)

The universe does not have laws; it has habits - and
habits can be broken.

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh
at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and
economists? 
-- Kelvin Throop III

Math is like love- a simple idea but it can get
complicated. 
-- R. Drabek.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of
art; one of the damned things is ample. 
-- Rebecca West

For NASA, space is still a high priority. 
-- Dan Quayle, 9/5/90

It is madness to attempt that which has never been
done, except using means never as yet tried.
-- Francis Bacon

Order and simplification are the first steps toward
the mastery of a subject. 
-- Thomas Mann.

If a camel flies, no one will laugh if it does not
get very far. 
-- Paul White

User n.: A programmer who will believe anything you
tell him.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

The opposite of 'analysis paralysis' is a 'WISKY'
culture: 'Why Isn't Someone Coding Yet?'. Both
diseases can be fatal.

One seldom sees a monument to a committee.

The steady state of disks is full. 
-- Ken Thompson

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to
make one believe in God.

'Intellect is not speaking and logicising; it is
seeing and ascertaining'
-- Carlyle

'Learning passes for wisdom amongth them who want
both' Temple

'We are in a series of which we do not know the
extremes, and believe that it has none'
-- Emerson

'All things are symbolical, and what we call results
are beginnings'
-- Plato

Crash programs fail because they are based on the
theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a
baby a month. 
-- Wernher von Braun

No, 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot'.
-- Dr.  Who

What's the use of a good quotation if you can't
change it? 
-- The Doctor

There are two ways to write error-free programs.
Only the third one works.

What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the
will to find out, which is the exact opposite.
-- Bertrand Russell, Skeptical Essays, 1928

Flon's Law: There is not now, and never will be, a
language in which it is the least bit difficult to
write bad programs.

'I don't think so,' said Rene Descartes.  Just then,
he vanished.

I'm not real bright, but I can lift heavy things.
-- Lou Reed

The older I grow, the less important the comma
becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath. 
-- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart

The early bird catches the worm. But look what
happened to the early worm...

Under deadline pressure for the next week.  If you
want something, it can wait.  Unless it's blind
screaming paroxysmally hedonistic ...

Why waste time learning when ingorance is
instantaneous? 
-- Hobbes

People often find it easier to be a result of the
past than a cause of the future.

I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without
coming back down. 
-- Grade school science exam

When people run around and around in circles we say
they are crazy.  When planets do it we say they are
orbiting. 
-- Grade school science exam

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really
understand. 
-- Grade school science exam

While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its
distance from the sun, it is really only
centrificating. 
-- Grade school science exam

Most books now say our sun is a star.  But it still
knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
-- Grade school science exam

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils
while others preferred to be oil. 
-- Grade school science exam

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others
help make water, so sometimes it's brother against
brother. 
-- Grade school science exam

To most people solutions mean finding the answers.
But to chemists solutions are things that are still
all mixed up. 
-- Grade school science exam

Clouds are high flying fogs. 
-- Grade school science exam

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and
around. And around.  There is not much else to do.
-- Grade school science exam

Water vapor gets together in a cloud.  When it is
big enough to be called a drop, it does. 
-- Grade school science exam

Humidity is the experience of looking for air and
finding water. 
-- Grade school science exam

A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size. 
-- Grade school science exam

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than
their names sound. 
-- Grade school science exam

It is so hot in some places that the people there
have to live in other places. 
-- Grade school science exam

Clarke's Observation: Any program that is finally
working correctly is obsolete.

Iversen's Law: There's never time to do it properly,
but always time to completely re-do it.

Osborne's Law: Variables won't, constants aren't.

Rhode's Rule of Life: Inside every unworkable,
unusable, unattractive program is a really useful
routine struggling to be seen.

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think
of you if you could know how seldom they do. 
-- Olin Miller.

The two most common things in the universe are
Hydrogen and stupidity. 
-- Harlan Ellison

New clinical studies show that there are no answers.

We make up our own answers.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Imagination is intelligence having fun.

Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: 'If you think
big enough, you'll never have to do it.'

There is nothing more ugly than an orthodoxy without
understanding or without compassion. 
-- Francis A. Schaeffer 

Unix was not designed to stop people from doing
stupid things, because that would also stop them
from doing clever things. 
-- Doug Gwyn

Work for something because it is good, not just
because it stands a chance to succeed. 
-- Vaclav Havel

What is written without effort is in general read
without pleasure. 
-- Samuel Johnson

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
theorems. 
-- P. Erdos

If I hear the phrase 'everything is an object' once
more, I think I will scream. 
-- Michael Stonebraker

... with proper design, the features come
cheaply. This approach is arduous, but continues to
succeed. 
-- Dennis Ritchie

Good work is always done in defiance of management.
-- R. Woodward

I never understood people who don't have
bookshelves. 
-- George Plimpton

Hydrogen is a colorless, odorless gas which, given
enough time, turns into people. 
-- Henry Hiebert

He seems to have an inordinate fondness for beetles.
-- Naturalist J.B.S. Haldane, on God

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are
cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-- Bertrand Russell

Luck is the residue of design. 
-- Branch Rickey

As complexity rises, precise statements lose
meaning, and meaningful statements lose precision.
-- Lotfi Zadeh

Good judgement is the result of experience
... Experience is the result of bad judgement.
-- Fred Brooks

Perfection of means and confusion of goals seems, in
my opinion, to chacterize our age.
-- Albert Einstein

Inventions have long since reached their limit, and
I see no hope for further development. 
-- Highly regarded engineer in ancient Rome.

Every really new idea looks crazy at first
-- Alfred North Whitehead

All logical differences are big
differences.
-- Wittgenstein

For every complex problem, there is a solution that
is simple, neat, and wrong. 
-- H. L. Mencken

I know the answer!  The answer lies within the heart
of all mankind!  The answer is 12? I think I'm in
the wrong building.
-- Charles Schulz

Fortune favours the prepared mind.
-- Louis Pasteur

Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon. 
-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer
anything to add, but when there is no longer
anything to take away. 
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Intelligence does not require bulk, Mr. Scott
-- Spock (referencing his weight?)

Sophisticated econometric modeling houses like Data
Resources and Chase Econometrics have successfully
predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved
it correct, not tried it.
-- Donald Knuth

I wish to God these calculations had been executed
by steam. 
-- Charles Babbage (1792-1871)

Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what
is not so. 
-- Galileo

The purpose of models is not to fit the data but to
sharpen the questions.
-- Samuel Karlin

The best material model of a cat is another, or
preferably the same, cat.
-- A. Rosenblueth

Technical skill is mastery of complexity while
creativity is mastery of simplicity.
-- E.C. Zeeman

You can only find truth with logic if you have
already found truth without it.
-- G.K. Chesteron

We arrive at truth, not by reason only, but also by
the heart. 
-- Blaise Pascal

You can point your finger at the moon, but the
finger is not the moon
-- Old Zen saying

Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think
big enough, you'll never have to do it.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to
teachers. 
-- J. D. Salinger

Human errors can only be avoided if one can avoid
the use of humans. 
-- David Parnas

Evolution doesn't take prisoners.

Its my theory, I thought of it, I invented it, and
its all mine
-- Monty Python's Flying Circus

Your theory is both good and original. The problem
is where it is good, it is not original and where it
is original, it is not good.

Sometimes I think that the best sign that
intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is
that none of it has tried to contact us. 
-- Calvin

Give me a lever and place to stand, and I will move
the world. 
-- Archimedes

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to
entertain a thought without accepting it. 
-- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

Before I speak, I am master of the words; After, the
word is master of me. 
-- Ibn Gabriol

Houston, we have a problem here.
-- James Lovel
delivering the greatest under-statement of the 20-th
century.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

'Bother', said Pooh as he reached for the reset
button.

I bet the human brain is a kludge. 
-- Marvin Minsky

Better wind up the model again...
-- Tom Servo

Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error
also.

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never
simple. 
-- O. Wilde

Truth is shorter than fiction.

Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
-- Picasso

Real programmers write FORTRAN and can do so in any
langauge.

There is something very wrong with a world where Ken
Thompson lives in relative obscurity and Bill Gates
is a famous billionaire.

A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the
end of the blackboard. 
-- Prof. Steiner

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the
intelligence.  There's a knob called 'brightness',
but it doesn't work.
-- Gallagher

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein - it rejects it. 
-- P. Medawar

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't
have a Space program
-- Larry Niven

Bell Labs Unix - Reach out and grep someone.

The Earth is the cradle of the mind, but one cannot
stay in the cradle forever.
-- Tsiolkovsky

Sometime the things we do to make things better is
like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
-- Newtown graffiti

It has recently been discovered that research causes
cancer in rats.

Define the universe. Give three examples.
-- Tough exam question

There are atoms, and there are chairs.
-- John McCarthy

Simon's Law: Everything put together falls apart
sooner or later.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Yeah, but you're taking the universe out of context.

Animism theme zest joy.
-- Anagram of Timothy James
Menzies

Majesty zones item him.
-- Anagram of Timothy James
Menzies

Immense jest omit hazy.
-- Anagram of Timothy James
Menzies

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Doubt is the origin of truth. Know thyself. 
-- Socrates

I am Mulder of Borg. The Truth shall be assimilated.

TV Truth #17: Explosions in space make noise.

TV Truth #2: All problems can be solved in 30-60
minutes.

All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is
not a syllogism.

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not
everything that can be counted counts.
-- Albert Einstein

Science is what happens when preconception meets
verification.

My imagination is a monastery and I am its monk. 
-- John Keats (1795-1821)

Imagination is the voice of daring. If there is
anything Godlike about God it is that. He dared to
imagine everything.
-- Henry Miller 

Mouse Potato: the on-line generation's answer to the
couch potato.

If this is true, building software will always be
hard. There is inherently no silver bullet.
-- Fredrick P. Brooks Jr.

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by
their own. 
-- H. G. Wells

Speed, quality, price. Pick any two. 
-- James M. Wallace

That which is monitored improves. 
-- Source unknown

Do not plan a bridge capacity by counting the number
of people who swim across the river today. 
-- Heard at a presentation

Your manuscript is both original and good. That
which is original is not good, and that which is
good is not original.
-- Dr. Johnson

The equator is a mangerie lion running around the
earth. 
-- A child's grade school  essay

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a
light bulb?  A: It depends how many you can afford.

SoMEI_mpOSSIblE_sYMBOl